Fresh To Death

I'm going to start by saying I don't know shit about fashion. I'm all about comfort. I feel my best in a pair of jeans, a t shirt, and a baseball hat. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. When I am home, if I am not enjoying the freedom of No Pants Sunday, I am usually wearing a pair of basketball shorts, or sweatpants, a hat, and my slippers.

Personally I believe the hat is the most important accessory a man can own. I have quite a few hats in many different styles. My all time favorite style of hat is the 59/50 by New Era. In my fashion opinion regarding hats it is a necessity to remove all tags and stickers. You look foolish with stickers all over your hat. I think it is important to match the hat with your shirt. It makes you look more put together.

Fellas, Adidas or Nike sweatpants in public is a dangerous move. Girls will be looking to see if they can see a "print." If you are not well endowed, I suggest staying away from these kind of pants in a public setting. A girl knows withing the first 32 seconds of meeting you whether or not she would like to sleep with you. Don't make her decision easier. Accent your best qualities. Regardless of what kind of pants you wear the main rule is...MEN SHOULD NOT WEAR SKINNY JEANS.

Skinny jeans are the worst thing to happen to men's fashion since Seinfeld rocked the puffy shirt and parachute pants.You should not be able to share a pair of jeans with your girlfriend. How is that even comfortable? You need to let your penis and boys breath. I realize that because of pop culture men are now prettier than they have ever been. What is wrong with a man looking like a man? If you take more time getting ready for a night out than your girl, don't be surprised when she wises up and leaves your ass for a man.

Although I love wearing jeans and t shirt, it is important to clean up nicely. Every man should have a suit or two for special occasions. Formal wear brings out a confidence you don't get with your everyday attire. Straighten up your facial hair, get someone to trim your neck, throw on a watch, and approach any formal event with the confidence of a man.

Now let me get into what I think about women's fashion. Girls, for the most part you do it right. White pants, yoga pants/shorts are my weakness. It is so sexy, but it is not for everyone. Also, nothing is sexy about a girl that wears yoga pants every day of the week. Men notice when you take the time to get ready. Some may be too shy to say anything, but we really do appreciate it.

What I noticed this summer about women's fashion that really bothered me was the 1970's Farrah Fawcett shorts, riding all the way up to your belly button, showing off that camel toe. Please lose this look by next summer ladies.  Its not flattering. Stick to what works; sundresses, white pants, or some short shorts with some cowboy boots. That last one may be the country boy in me coming out.

I also believe that girls sometimes do too much. A natural beauty is sexy. Don't be misleading to us guys. We are already dumb enough. Don't deceive us with the massive amounts of makeup, and padded bras. No one wants to wake up to a completely different person than the one they went to bed with. You shouldn't leave another face on our pillows. 

The bras are also deceiving to us. If it gets to the point of us actually getting to see the goods, we shouldn't be wondering where all the boobs went. Guys don't stuff socks in our underwear, unless its a bad 80's movie, don't fool us with your extra cup size inserts in your bra.  

When it comes down to it, everyone has their own style, and that is all right. These are just some of my opinions. I believe anyone can be sexy with the right amount of confidence. Do what makes you happy...as long as it doesn't include stickers on hats, and Farrah Fawcett jeans. Guys, if you want to wear your pants that shows off your goods (or lack thereof) do it. Girls, well the majority of you, keep doing what you are doing. It is appreciated. I'm just sad we have to wait until the spring time to see you in those white pants again. 

Nobody Likes A Quitter

Tobacco has been a part of my life for a long time. I am not proud of my tobacco addiction. It was always staring me in the face during my baseball playing days. I regret ever starting the nasty habit. I have tried to quit many times, all unsuccessfully. I'm writing about it today because I am embarking on the journey of being tobacco free once more.

My first taste of tobacco came my sophomore year of high school.  I had just moved from the Cincinnati area to Piedmont Oklahoma.  A 6A school to a small 4A farming community outside of Oklahoma City. I didn't fit in right away because I was a "city boy." I didn't drive a big truck. I didn't listen to country music religiously. The only common ground I had with many of the guys at my new school was sports.

 Baseball season rolled around. I was starting to fit in a little more. Life was good. I was the starting shortstop for the team. I had proven myself to be all right in their book. We were on the bus heading back from a game we had won. I was sitting at the back of the bus with the seniors when the second baseman pulled out a can of Copenhagen Snuff.

He packed the Copenhagen and put a fat dip in his lower lip.  Then he asked if I wanted one. I couldn't say no, even though I had no idea what I was doing. He packed the can and told me how to do it. By now all the seniors were gathered around me. There was no turning back now. I reached into the can and put a big fat dip in my mouth. It burned. Snuff was getting all over my mouth as I packed it into my lip. I was sitting on a ball bucket in the aisle. I started getting light headed. They all told me this was perfectly normal and I would soon start to fill like I had to shit. As soon as we arrived back at the school I rushed off of the bus and headed straight to the bathroom. This is what we call in the business "Double Jeopardy." I was so sick. Spraying out both ends. 

I would like to say this was the last time I did tobacco but I can not. Everyday I was offered a dip, or a chew for the rest of the baseball season. Before I know it I was addicted to the tobacco.  I would have a dip during class. Cleverly spitting down the straw of my drink so I wouldn't get into trouble. I couldn't wait to get to practice so I could chew without having to hide it. It was a bonding kind of thing I suppose. We would sit around the clubhouse with a chew in our mouths, sharing a spittoon, talking about baseball and girls.   

Time went on and I left for college.  My tobacco use was at an all time high now because I didn't have to hide it from my parents. Almost all of the baseball team chewed tobacco. One of my favorite times is when the team did a fundraiser at the Kansas Speedway. The Skoal and Timberwolf tent gave out free logs for every empty can you took them. We would make the guys on the team who didn't use tobacco go to the tent with one of our empties. By the time our fundraiser was over we all had enough dip to last us the entire season. My freezer was filled with cans of all different types and flavors.

Four years of college came and went. I always thought that when I was finished playing baseball I would quit my habit easily. I was wrong. I put away the chewing tobacco and switched to cigarettes. I was told that one chew was equivalent to four cigarettes. I thought that this would make it easy to wean myself off of tobacco. Again, I was wrong.

I began smoking regularly. It was more socially acceptable in the professional world. Work hard and then sneak outside every so often for a smoke break. It broke up the monotony of the workday. It formed friendships with people from other departments. We all had that nasty habit in common.

Over the years I tried to quit several times. My professional life took me on the road. Living out of a suitcase with long hours and not much free time. Sometimes having a smoke was the only thing that kept me sane and sometimes it was the only thing that kept me awake while driving cross country. When I gave all that up to move to Kansas, I started working in the bar where I am currently employed. We all know that drinking and smoking are synonymous. 

Last year I decided I was done with cigarettes and chewing tobacco. I went and got the patches. I was tobacco free for about three months and then my birthday rolled around. I was out celebrating with my friends, really tying one on. My friend lit up a cigarette and the aroma immediately made me crave one. I asked him to bum me one. He told me no because he knew my struggle with quitting. I told him it would be ok, and I only wanted one for my birthday. This started the addiction right back up again because one turned into ten. Then the next day all I wanted was a cigarette to help my hangover.  Before I knew it I was back to being a full time tobacco user.

I am writing about this now because I am about to embark on the arduous journey of quitting tobacco once more.  I know it will not be easy, but I know it will benefit me in the long run.  I guess this is one of the signs of growing older. I have realized my mortality and want to take the necessary steps to living a longer and healthier life. If I'm not going to quit the whiskey, I need to quit the tobacco. I will miss it dearly, but I know it is the right thing to do.